Traveling to Costa Rica with Robyn, Emily, and Frank. JFK to Orlando to San Jose. We’re so excited that even 45 minute taxis and hour last ng delayed flights aren’t going to bother us. The only damper on the whole day were the two douche bags sitting in front of Robyn and I in the flight to San Jose.
They managed to get banged up before the flight, and before we had even taken off they were harassing the flight attendants. They were in their 40s of 50s, and didn’t seem to know their way around alcohol or women. They were loudly exchanging the details of their particular sexual exploits, and expressing how hot they thought one of the flight attendants were. They were concocting brilliant schemes of how one of them could fuck her in the airplane bathroom. “Just tell her how hot she is and buy her a drink. She wasn’t having any of it. The disdain showed so plainly on her that the back of the plane could see it. But the booze addled brains of these faux alpha male idiots didn’t see it, or didn’t care, so they kept at it for the duration of the flight.
All they could talk about was how much pussy that they were going to get and how fucked up they were going to be. They made allusions that all they were going to pay for was booze and T&A. I was pretty sure the only way these guys could get a woman to touch them was with a monetary incentives. Although one made it clear that they were married, which had the dual effect of proving the previous statement wrong, while simultaneously cratering my already low opinion of these particular primates
They were sitting in the emergency exit row, and I’d be lying if I didn’t continually think of pulling the lever and doing the world a favor by getting rid of these two. There are few things that annoy me more than loud drunks that can’t handle their booze: bigotry, idiocy, and inconsiderateness. They managed to get check marks in all of them. The last straw was this faux alpha male bullshit. They had all of the social aberrations of an alpha male, but none of the physicality or intelligence to back it up.
If these guys were ever confronted by someone they’d shrivel up.
As soon as we landed and taxied to the gate, moron two got up and ran to the back of the plane to release the 6 bottle of gin he drank. I along with rest of the plane stood up to collect our stuff so we could get out of there. I was also standing because I’m a small giant and don’t comfortably sit on planes. This fat hobbit tries to get back to his seat spouting insincere apologies and excuse mes. After passing me to get to his seat he says loudly to his friend “Jesus Christ, haven’t any of these fucking hic… morons ever been on a goddamned plane before. HIC… Standing around like idiots.”
I felt myself glaring down at him. All of the animosity towards the two of them were pouring out of that look. In my periphery I saw the other guy glance at me, as he stammered for the guy to sit down and shut up. It was the only time either of them seemed to be aware of how obnoxious they were being. We were stuck next to them until we were through customs and I was happy to see the end of them.
We were carted off in a microbus to our hotel, which looked like Scarface’s mansion. At first sight of the hotel all the negative feelings just kind of melted away. This is an 8 day trip where we’re here to experience new things and get away from the daily grind.
